Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Way too fast...

I'm back from Florida, my baby brother graduated from high school, made it through my last first day of class, and this summer is flying by way too fast! I had an amazing time in Florida! I wish everyone could have the opportunity to meet my sister and her family! They're simply amazing and I couldn't have spent my break any better! One evening I went with my sister and nephews to the beach to enjoy the evening and the sun setting...and it will be my "happy place" whenever this last semester gets too stressful to handle I'll imagine the sand surrounding my skin, cradling my body and taking on the shape of my every curve...the waves crashing on the shore, carrying on a conversation with my sister, listening to my nephews laugh, and not having a care in the world...

"Enjoy it while you can"...that's what everyone it a vacation, having a baby, peace and quiet while everyone is gone, the ignorance of childhood...enjoy it while you can. I'm learning to heed those words of wisdom to the best of my ability. I enjoyed every moment of being with my sister, brother-in-law, and my stinking adorable nephews. I've enjoyed every moment of being in nursing school and learning as much as possible. I've enjoyed every moment of watching my siblings succeed in life and achieve their goals. I learn every day the importance of trying to enjoy everything to the best of my ability...and when things don't go the way I planned...I try to find something to smile about...even if the only thing I can smile about is the fact that tomorrow is a new day!

No one can explain how fast everything flies by once you start your program of study. My siblings and friends always told me that once you get into your program and start doing what you've set your mind to everything just flies by; but I never thought that it could really happen this fast. A year ago I was anticipating the start of level 1. I was completely oblivious to the struggles, heartache, stress, joy, friends, white hairs, and all the other odds and ends that one encounters in nursing school! Somehow, by the grace of God, and the help of family and friends, I've almost made it to the end.

Despite all my preparation, panic begins to set it. Reality finally hits me right in the face and I realize that in a few months I'm going to be a "real" nurse. I won't have my instructor down the hall from me to run too when I'm not sure of myself (granted I will have co-workers to ask questions), I won't have the excuse that, "I'm just a student", I'm going to be the nurse. I'm going to be the one in charge of peoples' loved ones! It's an intimidating reality..but I'm ready for it!

                          This is how everyone feels during the CCT exam!

However, before I'm able to relax, I have to make it through the CCT (dosage exam) first! You know, the exam that you have to pass in order to continue on in the's only a slightly big deal! I've put in my hours of studying though and I'm ready to ace the exam! All that's left now is for me to get some shut until next time...sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

It's happening...

Well first things first...I have a love/hate relationship with breaks! I'm so thankful that I get to go to Florida to see my sister, otherwise I would be going crazy with myself! I love going to school and having a set schedule, seeing my friends, learning, and going to clinicals! I love all of it and I hate it when I have nothing to do! I've cleaned my room and reorganized my books, hung up clothes that were just thrown onto my desk, vacuumed up those annoying goat-heads that I continued to step on each morning, I also managed to take my massive stack of books and school supplies that were accumulating on the kitchen table and looked like I did nothing but bask in the presence of my nursing school books 24/7. I also managed to finally got my bed back up to my room (with the help of my older brother, little brother, and little sister) had been downstairs for a while because my mom had back surgery a few months ago and wasn't able to take the stairs, so we brought my bed downstairs for her to sleep on...she has been able to take the stairs for quite a while now, but it was just a matter of having enough muscles around to get my bed back upstairs!! :)   

So cleaning and getting reorganized was a plus. However, one of the big reasons why I don't like means you have lots and lots of time. Which includes time for your mother to look at your head and realize that I have WHITE HAIRS!!! ACK! Well, I suppose I can say that I was able to maintain a white-hair-free-zone for 21 years and 8 months and 12 days!!! I thought my first white hairs would be more traumatic, but the truth is, I earned every single one of those white hairs! She's only found two...and I haven't gone looking to see if I can find more, but all I'm saying is that I will wear those white hairs with pride! Each one tells the story of the stress of nursing school, the chaos of everyday life, the sorrow of a broken family, the hope of what's to come, the strength it took to make it through the rough days, the courage it takes to face each day..and never knowing what the morning will bring! 

I suppose you could say that it's happening...I'm getting old :D ..because hair color is what defines our age right?! (hahaha) Whenever I see someone with a head full of white hairs I think to myself.."now there's someone that has lived a full life and has seen heartache and struggle...and survived" It reminds me of a quote by Mark Twain...I think it goes something like this, "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!" Of course I'm being sarcastic when I say hair color defines our age...but I think society looks at it that way...I guess I'm just trying to raise my objectivity ;-)